Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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