Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
