pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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