I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
