So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sorry about my life...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
