I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
