k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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