I just cut my nipple shaving
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
