do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
