I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
