I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
There's even glitter on my cock...
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