That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
