toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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