I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
