Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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