Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
