I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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