I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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