i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
