i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
