Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
