It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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