You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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