No stitches, just platelets and will power
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
