"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
