Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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