I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
