So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
