My hand turned me down
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
