My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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