ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
