I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize