Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
