um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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