he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
