..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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