yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
