SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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