Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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