You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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