What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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