you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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