yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You have to summon your inner elephant
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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