taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
