We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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