when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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