if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
