I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
