i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
