Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
