they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
