I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So vagazzling was a success
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize