this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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