Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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