They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
