Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize
