I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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