summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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