Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
