ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
