When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
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I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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