put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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