singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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