party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.