dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse