Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
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I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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