it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?