Dude my mom stole all your condoms
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize